MidnightOrangeBlog

As you can see in my Instagram bio. The four principles I hold mose dear in this life are: Gratitude, Kindness, humility, and Faith.

GRATITUDE

To cut a long story short, I first met gratitude in a babies’ home in Bangkok, Thailand, as a newborn. My biological Mother had been killed by a drunk driver in a hit-and-run, not long after my birth. And my biological Father- well, quite frankly, he’s not worth the time it would take to tell you… So, I wound up in Pakk Red babies’ home.

Fast forward two years, and I was adopted by Mum and Dad. My wonderful parents. The kind of people who feel like Christmas itself.

The way I see it is that someone up there was working overtime to give me a second chance at life. And I could not be more grateful. Even as a child, I distinctly remember the same feeling I carry with me now – an overwhelming gratitude to be in England, of all the places I could have been inter-country adopted into. And to have had the privilege of my upbringing, a house that was a home, and a family that was love personified. And now, as I reflect, for every wild and incredible experience I’ve clocked in adulthood. I may only be 26, but my God, do I have life on my years. Grateful.

KINDNESS

We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘it costs nothing to be kind’, right? Easier said than done, in some cases, of course. But ever since I made the conscious decision to lead with kindness, my world opened up.

You see, my teens saw me grapple with the circumstances of my birth, my Mother’s death and my adoption. As is the case for many with similar stories. It was hard at times not to lean into the bitterness and the unanswerable question of ‘but why?’

So I am glad to say that I have pretty much reconciled with it now and have made about as much peace as I think I ever will – with the fact that some things just are. And that that’s okay.

I realised that in order for me to show up with kindness, I had to first allow kindness in and that all started with being a lot kinder to myself. And shaking the notion that I was fundamentally unlovable – I know from speaking to other inter-country adoptees that this is a narrative we tend to tell ourselves. That if our own mother ‘didn’t want us’ – her being the very woman who grew us, and who was supposed to love us unconditionally – then who on earth could. Who could we trust?

So consciously deciding to abandon the abandonment wound enabled me to start seeing kindness everywhere. And to trust it when it showed up, to allow myself to believe some things are actually here to stay. And with that, being kind to myself and a lot kinder to others became a safe feeling; I no longer felt certain that every friendship and relationship was bound to end at a moment’s notice.

HUMILITY

This word stems from the Latin word humus (earth). And speaks of being grounded in human reality rather than acting superior.

To keep this section short and sweet – I just think it’s a really important quality to have. That ability to neither shrink nor inflate oneself. And to be confident that what you bring to the table is enough, whilst also remaining open and receptive to the ideas and strengths of others. It’s a beautiful symbiosis.

FAITH

“I believe in something bigger than both of us” – Zach Bryan, Dawns.

I almost got that lyric tattooed back in 2023, and looking back now, I’m sure glad I didn’t… But judge the artist, not the art, right? Either way, this lyric encapsulates my ‘religious belief’.

I have come to identify as spiritual.

Through schooling, I wondered whether Christianity was aligned with my belief system, and later in life, it seemed like Buddhism might ring truer. I even came close to studying Norse schools of thought. But after penduluming back and forth, I decided that for me, belief is not linear; I am neither fully Christian nor fully another. MY belief is faith. For my life felt touched by the guidance of what I can only rationalise as ‘divine intervention’ and some kind of ‘fate’ when I was adopted. With everything after that catalyst feeling divinely governed too.

There have been far too many instances in my life where things felt too good to be true. Or where so many things had to happen exactly as they did for the outcome that occurred. For me not to “believe in something bigger than both of us”. Which, when asked, I describe as faith. I pick and choose different teachings from different world religions; I subscribe to many notions and ideals, and they all culminate in my own personal religion. Which works for me. This amalgamation allows me to have a beautifully broad perspective on life, a much deeper understanding of its intricacies, and a more nuanced approach to all the trials and tribulations that existence has to offer.